I saw this quote today and it was like several shots of realisation reigning down onto me. Because I hold my hands up. I am that paragraph girl. I think that by sending all my thoughts into one big paragraph will somehow change things, make them realise shit I do love her.
It doesn’t, it sends them screaming in the opposite direction. Men especially (and I’m sure some women) can’t deal with reading paragraph after paragraph without feeling like their brains will explode under the pressure.
I remember years ago watching an episode of sex and the city where Miranda is relating her relationship woes to a boyfriend of Carrie’s, where in turn her girlfriends are supporting her, saying all the super positive stuff us girls say for then said BF to respond with that’s all code for ‘He’s just not that into you’ and boom the catchphrase of the early 2000’s was born.
And here I am years later having this full-blown realisation.
If a guy is interested, you will know, there is no need to second guess and if you do have to question this then I can guarantee he is just not interested. Doesn’t matter who you are, what you do for them. Doesn’t matter if you love them, hell you can cook their dinner and twerk on their dick every night but if they’re not into you they’re just not into you.
Mixed messages, lack of response, lack of any follow up they all equate to the same shit realisation: he’s just not that into you.
When someone cares about you, they want details of your life, they want to know what you’re up too, how your day has gone, they want to know it all. It’s a genuine human connection in someone to want to know they’re okay. If they don’t, again, I’m sorry to tell you: They’re just not that into you.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, even just for myself; if someone really wants to see you, they make it happen. If they want to be spooning your warm body at night they will do. If they can’t bare the idea of someone else taking their place, they won’t let that happen.
But no number of paragraphs you send, no amount of reasoning, reminiscing and for certain no amount of lip fillers or boob jobs will ever make them see you any differently if they’re no longer interested, that’s it… they’re just not.
Learning to accept this is one of the hardest things to come to terms with, realising that someone no longer cares can feel like your heart is breaking into two. But you can’t force someone to see your worth.
I just live for the day the right person will come along who won’t need persuading.