Our attitude towards being single can vary sometimes even on a day to day basis, depending on a whole host of reasons; what’s going on in our lives, our moods, even our hormones can affect how you feel.
I for one am like this on the daily.
On the one hand I can take on the form of a poor man’s Beyonce and feel like a vibrant, independent ‘I don’t need no man’ woman.
And then the day after I can be feeling needy AF and want to curl up on someone’s chest and take a nap.
These can feel like phases, that you go in and out of constantly.
But then sometimes there are stages where you just hate being single. You’re tired of being the one left with no plans at the weekend, tired of the single girl nights out and you can have those days where you go into full blind panic mode of ‘I’m going to be single forever.’
If you’re struggling with any of the above right now, here’s a gentle reminder that you’re not alone, and you can change your mindset.
Take a breather.
Are you really tired of being single or are you tired of everyone asking you why you’re single?
Do you believe just because your single right now that you always will be? Do you attach the idea of being single to mean you are unattractive or worse that you’re unlovable?
Identify the reason as to why you are feeling this way, why is it bothering you and how can you change that?
Remember, just because you are single right now here in the present, does not mean that is how your future will be.
Your relationship status does not define who you are as a person
Focus on the good
Focus on your relationships with your family, your friends and more importantly focus on the relationship with yourself. Because after all, our relationship with ourselves are the longest relationships we will ever be in.
And the truth is, if you’re unable to love yourself, how do you ever expect anyone else to love you?
Get back in touch with yourself, pick up an old hobby, do the things that make you feel good inside and out. Challenge yourself to do better. Believe in yourself and your worth.
Rethink how you feel about dating
Does it bring you out in a cold sweat? Does it make you internally panic? Try to look through different eyes, think of dating differently to how you may have looked at it in the past. Take the pressure off, try and enjoy the idea of meeting someone new.
Stop focusing on meeting the one.
Think of dating as expanding your friendships, your network even.
Yes, they may end up being your one, but equally they may not.
Work on being okay with either of those outcomes.
More than anything, stop the worry. Worrying about something will only make you feel worse, try and remember that some things are completely out of our hands no matter how much we like to think otherwise.