How can I advise you on something I am still struggling with?
I am the friend people come to for the advice and I don’t mind that, I am good at helping other people. I am full of solutions, the voice of reason, yet when it comes to listening to my own advice I ignore it, I push it away like I don’t want to accept what I know I should be doing or how I should be feeling.
So, what do I tell you when you tell me you’re not over your ex, when I myself am not over mine. Everyone around me thinks I should be, they tell me it wouldn’t matter to him if I was dead. They don’t understand, sometimes I don’t understand myself. Why would I love someone who treats me with such disregard? No one has ever treated me in such a calm calculated way with such a hate and I hope I never have to experience these feelings ever again.
But what I will tell you is what I tell myself.
It’s okay to not be over him yet.
I know you have tried your hardest to delete him out of your mind, out of your life. Deleted the photos, the messages, the memory of what you once were.
You’ve deleted his number and blocked his social media, yet nothing has worked. I get that.
You have days where you feel you will be okay and days where you feel like you will never be okay again.
You feel like the broken pieces of your heart will never repair and that life without him feels too hard. You play your time together over and over in your head – the good and the bad.
You wonder whether you will feel this way forever.
You don’t say it out loud, but you wonder whether you will ever love anyone again. I can’t tell you that you will forget him, but I will tell you that you must try.
You must realise that he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t want you and he has moved on. He has told you that. He has made you feel so worthless and beyond repair, but you will repair. You have to.
Life must go on.
You will learn one day to cope without him.
I promise you, you will learn to thrive on your own.
My advice to you? This heartbreak, don’t let it defeat you, let it mould you into the person you are meant to be.
Promise me you wont settle, you won’t settle for anything less than you’re worth ever again.
Okay, so you may not be over him right now, but be kind to yourself. You’re growing, you’re learning and one day you will realise why you have gone through this.
Be proud of how far you have come.