The question that comes up time and time again in any online forum is how the hell do you get over a break up? It is something I myself have spent many a night googling, researching, trying desperately to find anything to give me some hope, anything to help numb the pain I have felt penetrating deep in my heart. You know the pain where you feel at any moment you heart could explode under the pressure?
It truly is, apart from death, one of the worst things you can go through. It is up there with a form of grief. It can feel never ending, soul destroying, agonising even and you truly feel you will never get through it.
I think a lot of the time people are embarrassed to say, ‘hey I am not dealing with this well at all’. But there is absolutely no shame in how you are dealing or not dealing with a break up. There is no right way to feel and there is no set time as to when you should move on and start to feel better. Because everyone is different, and everyone copes in their own way.
What I am starting to realise is each break up, each of the different processes you go through, you go through them for a reason. They determine who you are, they make you realise what you do and don’t want. Nothing can prepare you for the stages that you go through, the denial, the anger, the crazy stage, the emptiness that you feel but every stage brings you forward to where you can finally see light again. And that isn’t saying you’re over that person, or even over the situation but you can only feel numb for so long before you must lift yourself up again.
For me, each break up, each disappointment I have gone through in my life, I have learnt something about myself. It has made me stronger. It has made me realise I am capable in ways I never thought I would be. I’ve also realised how freaking crazy I can act sometimes and how eating my emotions is not a way forward and has absolutely no benefits to making me feel at all better.
What I am still learning is that it’s okay to feel shit, its okay to cry your eyes out over the smallest thing, its totally okay to go out and get wasted for the night… it’s okay to do anything that YOU need to do to get you through this stage.
I can’t tell you things get better, but I promise you they get easier.
Learn to trust the timing of your life… that is what I am learning to do.